What it’s like to work together

If you've never been to therapy before — or you've been to therapy that didn't quite fit — it helps to know what to expect. Not just the logistics, but the actual experience of it.

Here's what I can tell you: working with me is rarely formulaic, follows an exact program, or takes you through a predetermined set of steps. It's a real relationship where we work together to figure out what will be most helpful to you. It’s a relationship that develops over time, that follows where you need to go, and that takes seriously the particular shape of your life and your struggles.

I work with one person at a time. Just you, in the room (or on the screen) with me. While much of what I help people with is relational, I don’t often work with couples or whole families—my focus is on supporting the person who is seeking help. Individual therapy, done well, is its own particular kind of support. It's a space that belongs entirely to you.

The Experience of a Session

We start where you are. There's no agenda you have to arrive with, no expectation that you'll know exactly what to talk about. Some sessions are focused — you come in with something specific on your mind and we work through it. Others are more open — something surfaces that you didn't expect, and we follow it. I draw from a pretty broad range of tools, and so depending on what you want and need, and what I think I’m hearing, I’ll offer suggestions, ideas, and perspectives for you to consider.

I bring warmth, compassion and humor to the work. I also bring directness. I'm not going to sit quietly and nod for fifty minutes. If I notice something, I'll say so. If I think we're circling around something important, I'll gently point toward it. My goal is to be someone you can be completely honest with — and someone who will be honest with you in return.

I also don't believe in making therapy harder than it needs to be. We don't have to excavate every corner of your past to do meaningful work. We go where it's useful, at a pace that feels workable. And I bring a lot of respect for the fact that you are the expert on your own life.

My Approach

My work is relational and insight-oriented, which means I believe that understanding matters, not just managing symptoms, but actually making sense of what's happening and why. That understanding is what allows real change, rather than just better coping. I also believe that meaningful change often requires doing things differently. While understanding and insight set the stage for change, ultimately you have to try on new behaviors, new ways of thinking, and new ways of being in order to really shift.

Self-compassion is central to everything I do. Most of the people I work with are considerably harder on themselves than the situation warrants. Learning to treat yourself with the same kindness you'd offer someone you love is not a soft idea, it's one of the most genuinely difficult and most transformative things a person can work on. We come back to it again and again.

I also work from a trauma-informed perspective. That doesn't mean we spend every session talking about the past. It means I understand that present struggles often have roots in earlier experiences, and I bring that awareness to everything we do — without pushing you toward material you're not ready to explore.

Underneath all of it is a belief that you are not broken. You are a person who has been through things, who has developed ways of coping that made sense at some point, and who is now ready for something different. That's the work.

What Changes

People come to therapy wanting to feel better. That's real, and it matters. But what I find is that the most lasting changes aren't just about feeling better, they're about relating to yourself differently.

The anxiety doesn't disappear entirely, but it stops running your decisions. The grief doesn't go away, but it becomes something you can carry rather than something that carries you. The pattern you've been stuck in for decades becomes visible enough that you can actually do something different. You start to hear your own voice more clearly separate from the voices of everyone who told you who to be.

That's what I mean by real change. Not a fixed version of yourself, but a freer one.

Ready to take the first step? I offer a free 20-minute consultation — no commitment, no pressure. I’d love to help.